i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
