I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
