He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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