is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
