like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
