i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The power of my boobs compel you
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
