I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
