You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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