Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
