"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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