My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
