you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
