Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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