I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
