Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
