I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize