Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
