Just fell off a train. Bad.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
