Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
