This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
