There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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