I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
