So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
