On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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