somebody snuck up and got me drunk
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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