He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
