just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
