so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So vagazzling was a success
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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