He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
