i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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