I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
