don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
