is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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