Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize