You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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