Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
