Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
vagina is talking i cant
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
