I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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