i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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