you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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