So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
