I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
