I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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