Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
