I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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