Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
