do herpes really smell.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
