3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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