i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
