I just made out with a guy for $7.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize