So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
