i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
