dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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