so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
