glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
