That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
