I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
