"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
