Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
