I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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