i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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