and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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