Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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