the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
