I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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