I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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