Cold hands, warm shart.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize