She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
