He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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