I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
