Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
