Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
