it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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