belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
