I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
